Monday, August 24, 2009

Speechless ...

You speak the words off my lips

So all I can say is your name

You gaze the sight out of my eyes

So all I can see is your face

You blow the storms in my mind apart

So all that I can think is a prayer

For God to help me win your heart.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Vocal Constipation/Verbal Diarrhoea

WARNING: This is a highly self-indulgent post and may annoy readers with little patience

I have long suffered from two paradoxical ailments – vocal constipation and verbal diarrhoea. Before continuing, let me clarify these terms – vocal has to do with the voice and speech, while verbal refers to words in any form, be it written, spoken or performed. Constipation and diarrhoea are terms I assume everyone is familiar with, though hopefully not too literally or personally. ;)

When it comes to spontaneous face-to-face conversation, I struggle to get anything out. I don’t know why I find it difficult to talk to people or build close relationships when I so enjoy the presence and company of others, but I know of several good and well-meaning individuals who can testify to the frustrating experience of trying to connect with me. Even in answering simple questions about myself and my life (supposedly the most effortless of topics) I just hit mental blanks and have trouble finding anything to say.

But when I’m presented with a clean page I become as articulate as Oxford’s English Dictionary. I feel like I’ve been given wings and license to travel the open sky. I can fill a page in a matter of minutes and usually I end up going too far ... it just pours out. Repeating synonyms of adjectives as I revel in the beauty of words, I explain each and every detail of the background of a story before getting to the story itself. I explain my explanations and elaborate on my elaborations.

I encode the entire intricate network of connections and impulses in the web of my mind into a cryptogram of words that can sometimes paint the most magnificent picture, but often is as labyrinthine and ensnaring as a maze or Egyptian tomb. This results in my “explanation” being more bewildering than enlightening.

Imagine if I said everything I wrote down ... I think that may be part of the reason I say so little – I simply don’t know where to start. What should I include and what should I omit? What makes sense and what is unnecessary? What do you want to know?

Better to say nothing than to be boring.

?

Thursday, August 20, 2009